Feb162010
5 Alarm Bell Phrases every DJ Should Avoid
If you have been on the DJ circuit for longer than a month then I am certain you will have come across these phrases from event managers and promoters before - all of which should set off those little alarm bells ringing inside your head.
Perhaps you have a keen eye for this kind of stuff and can spot them a mile away in emails you have received or maybe you are completely new to the whole DJing scene and you want to discover the phrases you will come across time and time again - and the ones to look out for!
Whatever your experience, I’m sure this article will ring true for DJs and shady promoters across the globe.
“If you can play the first event for free I’ll consider booking you regularly”
Normally this is backed up by “We don’t know if you are any good yet” or other such phrasing. I reckon most DJs will have heard something like this more often than not. They will try to coax you into playing a free set with the promise of more work in the future, perhaps even dangling a residency carrot in your face. Unfortunately most of the time this work is non-existent and you end up playing a one-off event for free.
You must be wary of this type of promoter because they are looking out for their own best interests and not yours.
What they’re really saying: I don’t have a lot of money and I don’t know anybody else, but I’m going to lie to your face as I want to get something for nothing. Any chance you’ll believe me?
“Sure I can pay you, but only if you sell X number of tickets”
Unfortunately in today’s industry this has to be the one that pisses me off the most.
I think it riles me up so much because I am asked to do something that is not in my job description - selling tickets. I am not a promoter, I am a DJ. I have little to no experience of promoting events and selling tickets. Why not? Because that’s not my job!
My job is to rock the dance floor and to give the crowd a good time. It just seems really weird that in order for me to be financially rewarded for doing my job behind the decks I have to do someone else’s job of selling tickets. Sorry, but no.
The worst ones are those that get you to buy a book of tickets upfront. You only get paid if you sell enough to turn a commission, but if you can’t sell enough tickets then you are out of pocket.
What they’re really saying: Look, we couldn’t give a shit how tight your beat matching is or how well you can structure a set, we don’t even give a f**k if the crowd has a good night or not, all that matters to us is the number of people through the door and how much money you can make us.
“Im running this event for charity so I was wondering if you cold come and DJ for free”
The good old classic charity event. Now I have nothing against charities on the whole. I feel a lot of them are standing for very humane and just causes. But as soon as you hear the word “charity” in relation to DJ work, you can bet your left testicle the next few words will include either “discount” or free”. And because of this you have to be very careful of those using the word “charity” just to try and get something for nothing.
Charities that do it properly will no doubt ask you for a discount or free set but they will do it through official channels, on headed paper and give you their registered charity number without you having to ask for it.
Be wary of those “charities” and check them out in full before accpeting any work from them. Don’t be afraind to say no to these people. Its possible for promoters to liberally use the word “charity” in the hope fo getting something for nothing. Although they might be a charity, you however are not.
What they’re really saying: Ive been asked to put on an event with a budget of zero. Im going to losely base the event around a charity in the hope of getting a load of DJs to play for free. Are you one of them?
“I’ll put your name on all the flyers and give you loads of exposure”
or “This is a great opportunity for you to play alongside some of the top names in the industry”
Now this is a good one. Here’s a situation where it appears the client now knows whats best for you in your flyer portfolio. They assume that the DJ set you will play for them will be so amazing that you’ll want to feature it in your DJ CV.
The big alarm bell here is that they are the kind of promoter who thinks that they know best. They are going to be expecting the best DJ set in the world from you but sadly they will seldom have the budget to pay for it.
What they’re really saying: Hey, Ive seen you’ve DJ’d at some great events, but I want you to come and put your name to ours where we will demand you play for twice as long for a fraction the money because we’ve blown all of our cash on the headline act. Its OK though because our event will look great on your DJ CV.
“I don’t have a large budget but I can help promote your site”
This is kind of two phrases combined into one when it comes to alarm bell phrases. Normally its said all at once just like the phrase above, but don’t get caught out if they’re said alone. Both “I don’t have a large budget” and “I can help promote your site” are individual phrases that should be avoided at all costs.
What they’re really saying: I want to put on my event for next to nothing and in order to get that done, I’ll tell you that I know famous people and/or can get you tons of exposure.
What do you reckon?
Are there any phrases missing from this list? What do you think they are? Let me know in the comments if you have come across any of the alarm bell phrases before or if you have got some yourself that perhaps aren’t listed here. There just has to be more…
Hey I love your mixes. So what do you do when people give you these lines? Do you lay great smack and furious whoopass?
Comment by 路易 — February 17, 2010 @ 6:38 pm
Have heard almost all of these! Hilarious.
Comment by Chandler Shortlidge — February 28, 2011 @ 6:29 pm